A bass guitar noodles through the loudspeakers as Tuesday Tony sets up a sound desk on the Thirsty Scholar’s stage. Only there is no bass guitar, or noodles in the air, just a memory of mine playing back in high-def and mixing with the present.
The old photograph is still on the back wall, the one Helen took 12 years ago, and it makes me happy. It’s shot from the stage and it captures a gallery of familiar faces dotted around the pub; Glenn, wearing his scuba gear; Elina, dressed like she’s at a 1920s jazz party. Mike’s there too, wearing a tiger’s head like a hat, and in the back Helen and Dave are posing in a way that makes me think of Fleetwood Mac. I’m in the pic too, in the top left corner just a little way back from Ant, who’s wearing what looks like a furry leopard print overcoat and a large hat (the kind pimps wear). A Boy Called Doris is spelled out in bunting that spans across the room, and on stage, dressed like a ring master, is Tuesday Tony – the man responsible for many great nights here at the Thirsty Scholar over the last 22 years.
‘Tony!’ I say, turning to the actual stage and talking to the actual man.
‘Pete! And Helen!’ he says, and we hug.
‘I was thinking you should do the reading upstairs,’ he says, gesturing to the Zombie Shack, a Tiki bar-come-comedy club that sits above the Thirsty. I hadn’t prepared for this. I’d done all my prep visualizing reading Mika Ito aloud in public (for the first time) in the familiar territory of the Thirsty.
Me and Helen follow Tony upstairs and he shows me the Zombie Shack’s cosy live space. I go on stage before anyone else arrives, to get a feel for it. We talk as I awkwardly fumble with the mic stand and notice all seats are set out in rows. I get nervous, but I know I’m in safe hands. The rhythmic clack of a train passing overhead pulls my attention to the ceiling. The Thirsty/ Zombie Shack is situated under a railway bridge.
‘You’re being heckled by the 8:15 from Manchester to Leeds,’ Tony jokes.
The crowd filter in and I go on first. There’s around 20 people in the audience, mostly stand-up comedians here to try out their act. They’ll do five minutes each in between the compère, Sarah. There’s also a local band, Quinn Eno, in the back row. What can go wrong?
While I’m doing my thing, Helen takes photos of me on stage and I feel like I slip into a low-level trance, interspersed with jolts of ‘oh shit, I’ve no idea what I’m talking about’. But I seem to get away with it so I thank the crowd and take a seat to watch the comedians. One says, ‘That book bit was like the Audible commercial before your YouTube video plays.’
‘You picked just the right outfit for, Ant. He would have loved that,’ Tony says later, as we sit by the photograph, drink non-alcoholic beer and reminisce about our friend who sadly passed some years ago.
‘I thought you picked it,’ I say.
Quinn Eno is getting ready for his set, and me and Tony pledge to do this again. So, if you’re ever in or around Oxford Road in Manchester on a Tuesday, go check out the Scholar. As Tony might tell you, it’s ‘The best, most value for money live music and comedy experience you can possibly find anywhere… on a Tuesday.’
Oh, and it’s Mika Ito’s one month anniversary today… Wow.
PF. 22.10.22
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